Being a parent during a pandemic

​I know it is a cliché to say that being a parent is the toughest job in the world, but it’s true! No other role is more challenging, rewarding, demanding, heart-breaking or satisfying than being a parent. It brings a range of strong, powerful emotions and sometimes it can be overwhelming.

Today is Global Day of Parents, as declared by the United Nations in honour of parents throughout the world - a day when we recognise that the family, however it is constructed, has the main responsibility for raising children.

Parents usually play the most significant role in a child’s life. Not just nurturing and looking after children in practical ways but teaching children about rules, values and what is and it not acceptable behaviour within the family unit and within society in general. Many sociological and psychological studies of the family have examined this in detail and there are numerous books about parenting on the market. I do not wish to advise anyone about parenting but simply to recognise the importance of parents in a child’s life on this day.

This role with all its challenges is even more important and even more difficult now as we experience the COVID-19 pandemic! The stresses and strains of parenting are even greater as mums and dads are faced with so many issues and challenges:

• Deciding whether to send their children to school or continue to keep them at home.
• Maintaining a work-life balance especially when there are young children in need of attention and parents need to work from home.
• Dealing with uncertainty about income and job security.
• Coping with financial pressures and worries.
• Becoming home educators overnight.
• Managing children’s difficult behaviour because children may be feeling bored or fractious after weeks of being stuck at home away from their friends and the familiar routine of school.
• Worrying about their own health or their child’s health if they have a pre-existing health condition or the need to socially shield.
• Caring for other family members including the grandparents.
• Struggling with the symptoms of anxiety, low mood, depression, or other more serious mental health conditions which may have worsened because of the stress cause by the current crisis.
• Not sleeping well because of increased stress which in turn makes the demands of childcare more onerous.
• Trying to maintain a semblance of normality when nothing is normal anymore.

I am aware that there are many exhausted mums and dads out there, especially those who are single parents. I feel for you. Please look after yourselves. It isn’t selfish to do that - if you can possibly take some time out for you own well being then you will be in a better position to care for your children. We all need a little bit of time to rest, relax and re-charge our bodies and most importantly, our minds.

As a Clinical Solution Focused Hypnotherapist, I teach all my clients about what is known as “The 3 P’s.” Namely, Positive Interaction, Positive Action and Positive Thought. Some ideas for integrating these into your life could include: 

• Contacting a friend or loved one for a chat, socially distanced walk or online coffee morning. (Positive Interaction).
• Keeping in touch with trusted friends via social media and sharing tips for parenting. (Positive Interaction).
• Getting out in the fresh air and engaging in physical activity will help to lift your mood. (Positive Action).
• Encouraging the older children to help with the cooking, housework or DIY jobs. These are useful life skills. (Positive Action).
• Keeping a journal (just a notebook would do) to note the positive things that have happened at the end of each day. So often, we focus on what has gone wrong in life and fail to notice the good things; what is working, what is going right for us and our families. (Positive Thought).
• Reminding yourself that the most important thing in life is the love that you have for your children. It’s helpful to do this when they’re testing you to the limit. Take a moment, take a long, soothing deep breath and know that “This too shall pass.”
• Reward yourself in a safe and healthy way. It could be a long soak in the bath, making time to sit out on a sun-lounger and read a favourite book, going for a walk, run or cycle ride – whatever pleases you, do it! Psychologically, we need to reward ourselves from time to time. It helps us to keep motivated and hang on in there.

Finally, don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back. You are amazing! You’re there for your children, day after day. Try not to knock yourself down when things go wrong, which will always happen from time to time. Build yourself up and know that you are doing the best you can in difficult and unprecedented circumstances.
 
If you find yourself struggling with anxiety including parental anxiety, health anxiety or any other form of anxiety, I am an experienced Clinical Solution Focused Hypnotherapist and mindfulness teacher with many years’ experience of using hypnotherapy or mindfulness to help people cope with anxiety and stress. I teach clients how to relax deeply, re-wire their brains by changing their thought patterns and move forward in life towards their desired future.

Email: td@tracydanielstherapies.co.uk
Mobile: 07856201869
Message: www.facebook.com/TracyDanielsTherapies
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