Our experience of stress arises from a physiological response within the brain and the rest of the body to feeling threatened, either physically, emotionally, or mentally. Within the brain there is a structure known scientifically as the limbic system and known commonly as the primitive emotional mind. This is responsible for producing the fight, flight or freeze response when we sense that we are in danger. The function of this part of our brain is to ensure our survival. It will respond immediately and automatically to a threat because it does not have the capacity to engage in logical, rational thinking or problem solving.
 
Our ancient ancestors evolved to survive

Imagine our ancient ancestors, the cavemen and cavewomen, who were hunter gatherers. They would have been faced with danger on a regular basis in their everyday lives. If a wild animal such as a tiger was approaching, a caveman would not have time to stop and weigh up the pros and cons of all the different options available. Should he stop and freeze on the spot pretending to be dead, should he use weapons to fight the tiger or should he just run? In an instant the limbic system would take over and the caveman would act immediately. More than likely he would attempt to run away because his brain would produce a massive surge of adrenaline which would give him a kind of superpower, namely the ability to run faster than he has ever run before! Adrenaline, cortisol, and other powerful hormones would flood through his body and this is what provides these almost superhuman abilities.
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However, it is not so good when these hormones are flooding through our body when we are not in immediate danger. Yet, when we are feeling stressed and anxious this is exactly what happens. Our body will produce the stress chemicals, cortisol, and adrenaline. Too much adrenaline can cause panic attacks and too much cortisol will only add fuel to any feelings of stress or anxiety. This can happen in situations of either acute stress or chronic stress. Acute stress is experienced when there is a single event or trigger, and it is relatively short term. For example, a car accident with no long-term consequences. Chronic stress is experienced when there is either a single event with long term consequences or a series of events over a prolonged period. For example, a car accident resulting in life changing injuries leading to other events such as loss of employment and financial difficulties.
 
How stress accumulates in our daily lives

In the present era, stress accumulates throughout our daily lives and we need to be able to deal with it otherwise it can build up insidiously and before we know where we are, we can find ourselves experiencing problems with our physical and mental health.
 
To explain this, I shall use the analogy of a “stress bucket. Let’s use Kate as an example. Throughout the day Kate has an invisible bucket by her side. In the morning she awakens feeling fine. It’s a beautiful day, she gets up, has her breakfast, gets ready for work, and begins to make her journey by car to the office. Unfortunately, she hits a queue of very slow-moving traffic which is unusual on her route. This makes her feel anxious because she has an appointment with a client at 9.00am and she is worried about being late. Kate starts to feel a tightness in her chest and a knot in her stomach. These are symptoms of stress and anxiety. Eventually she arrives at the office 15 minutes late for the appointment and feeling flustered. One large item has gone into Kate’s stress bucket. She apologises to the client who is understanding and the rest of the morning proceeds uneventfully. During the lunch hour Kate walks to the sandwich shop, buys her lunch and is strolling back to the office whilst looking at the messages on her mobile phone, when she suddenly realises that she has stepped in some dog muck on the pavement. Kate is upset about this because she is wearing a new pair of suede shoes and now, they are ruined! Another item has gone into her stress bucket. The afternoon goes well despite everything and Kate returns home from work. In the evening as she is preparing dinner, she looks in the cupboard for her favourite steak seasoning and finds that the jar is empty. A small item has been added to Kate’s stress bucket. Over dinner, as Kate is chatting with her partner Tom, exchanging accounts of their day, he tells her that everyone in his firm received an email from Head Office informing them that a significant number of people would be made redundant in the next couple of months. Now a massive item has filled into Kate’s stress bucket. Kate is feeling upset, anxious, and worried. Later, she has a splitting headache and a bad night’s sleep.

Thankfully, life is not usually this stressful, but we all have bad days or go through difficult periods in our lives. We need to empty the stress bucket. If we do not empty it then our emotional resilience starts to suffer, and we can become very unwell.

How do we empty the stress bucket?

How do we empty the stress bucket when it starts to fill up? Sleep is nature’s way of ensuring that our body gets the rest and restoration that it needs so that we are physically and emotionally ready to deal with whatever challenges we are faced with in the day ahead. Deep sleep is essential, but it is during light sleep, the rapid eye movement stage (REM sleep), when we are dreaming, that our brain can turn emotional events into a narrative (a story) thus helping us to process those events and wake up feeling refreshed and restored. However, if our sleep is poor, disturbed or a person is suffering from insomnia then this interferes with the brain’s ability to empty the stress bucket, regulate our emotions and function well in the world.
Interestingly, there is some research that indicates that deep relaxation during hypnosis replicates the beneficial effects of REM sleep. This helps to reduce stress, calm, and refresh the mind. Often clients find that hypnosis leaves them feeling not only deeply relaxed but able to think more clearly.
 
 
How can we restrict the amount of stress that goes into the stress bucket?

If possible, try to take positive steps to reduce the amount that goes into your stress bucket. Perhaps you could organise your time more effectively? Could you go to bed earlier to get more sleep? Are there any activities that you could do that would help you cope with stress in your life? Some people find exercise helpful; others may enjoy playing chess, reading a book, cooking, or doing a creative activity and so on.
 
Responding instead of reacting

When faced with a difficult or stress inducing situation, you could try to respond rather than react. Unless you really do need to get away from immediate danger and a risk to life, taking a mindful moment to pause, think and rationalise could reduce your experience of stress.
 
Ask for help

Asking for help and getting someone else’s perspective can also be useful. When we are feeling stressed and anxious it is exceedingly difficult to think clearly and maintain a focused state of mind. Someone else’s opinion and insights could be invaluable. My role as a Clinical Solution Focused Hypnotherapist is to help people to find solutions to their problems through a combination of both solution focused brief therapy and hypnosis.
 
Positive reflection

Finally, using regular reflection on your daily experiences will help you to be able to control your emotional responses, so focus on the positive aspects of your day however small or seemingly insignificant. You may find listing two or three things at the end of each day in a diary, notebook or journal a helpful habit to get into. Problems shrink or expand depending on how we choose to think about them. Pay less attention to the problems and more attention to what is good in your life and you will find that your brain will work away in the background, when you are feeling calm and relaxed, to help you find the solutions that are right for you.

(Kate and Tom are fictional characters and not based on real people).

I help clients cope with stress and anxiety by using a range of techniques including solution focused hypnotherapy, mindfulness and talking therapy. If you would like to learn how to relax and cope better with whatever is causing stress in your life, then I am here to help you. Just get in touch.
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 To find out more:
​
Text or ring: 07856 201869 or
Email: [email protected]
Message: facebook.com/TracyDanielsTherapies
Or click on the link: Contact

© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2021 | All Rights Reserved

This article was first published in The Hypnotherapy Directory on 15 February 2021:
https://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/what-causes-us-to-feel-stressed-and-how-can-we-cope​

On Monday 22nd February, the Prime Minister outlined the roadmap for the easing of restrictions in stages over the coming months in the UK. Some of us may be happily looking forward to these changes without being unduly worried whilst others may be feeling quite worried or anxious.

Mixed emotions

It’s quite normal to have mixed emotions about the situation and we may find that within households, different members have different views and feelings about the roadmap ahead. There may also be different opinions across the generations, but it would be an oversimplification to assume that all elderly people are more anxious about the situation than younger people.
A key factor in people feeling worried about the easing of restrictions is the state of their personal health. Someone who is categorised as vulnerable or extremely vulnerable will understandably feel more concerned about forthcoming changes. Currently, parents and carers of children or adults who fall into these categories are also likely to have concerns or worries. Some parents may be feeling genuinely concerned about their children returning to school next week and wondering if the timing is right.

Uncertain times

It is no understatement to say that we are living in uncertain times. Whether we like it or not, Covid-19 has taught us to live with uncertainty and to accept that everything is not under our direct control. Of course, this is not easy. As human beings we do not like uncertainty or change. We generally much prefer things to stay the same, particularly our routines and daily habits. Yet over the past year our routines have been disrupted and our lifestyles have changed considerably. This past year is often described as a “corona coaster” of emotions, in and out of lockdown, good news, then bad news, then good news again. Change can be difficult to deal with, more so for some people less so for others. How you navigate change depends upon many factors including your level of emotional resilience.

Our survival system

Our brains are “wired” for survival and this is the reason that our species is so successful. Our limbic system which I often refer to as the “primitive emotional mind” is the part of the brain responsible for this function, however this part of our brain can lead us to becoming over-cautious or hyper vigilant. In my Facebook Live recording of 24th February, I talked about this and how everyone in the supermarket was avoiding being near a man whose face mask had slipped and wasn’t covering his nose.
If you’re the kind of person who is prone to anxiety your primitive emotional mind will be on red alert looking for danger, threats, and risks. You may be wondering about all the “What Ifs.” For instance, “What if I am doing all the right things but others are not!” You may be thinking, “Even though the situation is improving, the threat remains.”

Solutions and advice

So, what can you do about your concerns, worries or anxiety at this time? As a Solution Focused Therapist, I focus on solutions and not on the problem. I am not pretending that the problem is not there. Far from it, but I am choosing to place my mental attention and to direct the attention of my clients on the positive aspects of living. Perhaps you could experiment and try the following:

• Don’t judge your feelings. Notice and observe how you feel but try not to attach to the feeling or dwell in it. Instead try to move forwards from any unhelpful thoughts or feelings.

 

• Take things at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Don’t dive straight into things at the deep end if you don’t feel ready. Take things one day at a time until your confidence returns.

 

• Doing things that you have not done for a while may feel strange but trust that you will get back into the flow of things e.g. If you’ve been working from home and you are required to go back into the workplace. If you feel very worried about this then, if possible, talk to your line manager or health and safety officer in the workplace.

 

• Focus on what is going well and what has been positive about your day. You may wish to make a mental note of this or to write it down in your notebook, diary, or journal. Some people find it helpful to list two or three things at the end of each day in a gratitude journal.

 

• Focus on what is within your realm of control and take comfort in knowing that you are doing your best.  

 

• Try not to judge others who make mistakes or get things wrong because this will make you feel stressed and increase your anxiety. Remind yourself that most people are adhering to the law and the government guidelines.

 

• Be aware that some of the things you worry about might never happen anyway. The primitive emotional mind is always focused on the worst-case scenario.

 
Practise “The Three Positives” 

1. Positive action or activities that involve physical movement such as exercise, dance, cycling, gardening, playing golf and so on. 
2. Positive interaction which means spending time in the company (including online) with people who make you feel good; having a laugh with family or friends, sharing thoughts and concerns with others who are supportive and uplifting. Try to avoid negative interaction as far as possible.
3. Positive thought. Yes, absolutely the most difficult one if you’re feeling worried or anxious. It takes a lot of effort to think positively in the present circumstances yet there are many things to be positive about, especially the success in the vaccination programme. Try to avoid watching the news too often and try to focus your attention on positive news stories. Avoid “toxic” or negative people and situations.

Finally, the easing of lockdown restrictions is being done in stages which is good because it gives us all time to adjust. We really are “all in this together” and muddling through as best we can. You can only do your best to protect yourself and your loved ones. Learning to live with risks and danger is a part of life.

If you are finding it difficult to cope and you would like help to “rewire” your brain, reduce your anxiety and learn how to think more positively then don’t hesitate to get in touch and book a free 30-minute initial consultation, which can be done as a chat over the ‘phone or via Zoom. 

To find out more:

Text or ring: 07856 201869 or
Email: [email protected]
Message: facebook.com/TracyDanielsTherapies
Or click on the link: Contact
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© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2021 | All Rights Reserved