Many parents and children are feeling more anxious and our mood may have declined. We have been faced with a threat to our survival and we are unable to engage in many of the positive social activities that we enjoy. Not only are we affected as adults, but our children are affected too, perhaps more than we may realise.

Lockdown restrictions are being eased, but it could be quite some time before life returns to anything resembling normal and our children are able to return to school or play in groups with their friends. Briefly, here are a few tips that you could use to help children cope:

Keep talking to your child about the situation and provide them with the basic facts.

Try to find out what they are thinking. It is important to fill in any gaps in their understanding. Children can pick up information that is incorrect, misleading and fear inducing.

If your child is asking questions, then try to deal with them. Do not go into too much detail but try to allay any fears and provide realistic reassurance.

Be mindful of your own behaviour. We can underestimate our children’s understanding and sensitivity to our emotions. Children instinctively pick up on our feelings, noticing things such as our tone of voice, facial expressions and body language. They look to us to assess the extent to which a situation is safe or dangerous. A calm, rational adult who can maintain a reassuring manner is what children need. Sometimes we have to fake it!

Coping with children being off school for a prolonged period is not easy. What can you do?

• Try to create some structure to the day and as much as possible put a routine in place. Our brains like structure and routine. It helps us to feel safe and secure.
• It is important to maintain a balance between work and play both for yourself and for your children. Not only do children learn through play, it will help them to release any feelings of stress or anxiety that they are experiencing.
• Children are inventive, so it is likely that they will come up with suggestions for how they can maintain social contact with their friends. By taking the necessary and important steps to ensure your children are safe online, it is possible for them to stay in touch with each other.
• Share time engaging in practical life skills such as cooking, gardening, housework, budgeting and planning.
• Try to reframe this as an opportunity to connect with your children and spend quality time together. 

Finally, nothing lasts forever, and this too shall pass. Remind yourself and your children that eventually the situation will improve. Try to be optimistic.

​This is an amalgamation of my recent posts about how to cope with lockdown. It also covers general tips for maintaining good mental health in any circumstances. 
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Maintain a routine
Maintaining a routine is important for your health. Our brains are hard-wired to expect our routines to continue. When those routines are disrupted it can be very confusing. You may have established a new routine and that is fine, if it works well for you. However, if you are lacking a routine then I suggest trying to outline some sort of structure to your day. I like to write things down, so I find it helpful to make a note each night of the things that I would like to do during the next day and to prioritise them. This provides a framework with which to structure the day ahead.
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Try to maintain a routine of getting up at a similar time each morning, getting washed and dressed, having regular mealtimes, established times for work or chores, regular times for exercise, relaxation and most importantly sleep. This is helpful because it helps you to stay calm, in control, and reduce feelings of anxiety and low mood.

Connect with positive people
Be aware of negative people. You know who they are – the ones who are always moaning and the complaining. They are obviously feeling low, but their negativity is almost as contagious as the corona virus itself! Being in the company of negative people will lower your mood, increase your anxiety and make you feel even worse about the current situation. If possible, take yourself away from these people, whether they are in direct contact with you, or online via social media. Instead, try to seek out the company of people who are positive, helpful and optimistic. If you are unable to do this, then you could read an entertaining book or try to watch programmes or listen to broadcasts that are calming and uplifting. ​

Make your home a sanctuary
There are many therapeutic benefits to making your home comfortable and attractive. Not only does this create a more pleasant environment in which to live but it can also lift your mood and help you to feel calm and relaxed. As we are all spending more time at home during lockdown, this could be an opportunity to do something positive by doing whatever you can to make your home a pleasing and comfortable place. I have been busy spring cleaning and decluttering recently and it’s very satisfying to see the difference in my own home. My therapy room is looking lovely but alas I can only see clients online via Zoom for the time being.

Do some gardening
If you are fortunate enough to have a garden, then gardening is an activity that has a surprising number of health benefits. It’s definitely one of my main therapeutic activities for self-care for the following reasons:

• Just 30 minutes of gardening can reduce stress by lowering cortisol which is the hormone associated with stress. Chronic stress is a serious health risk so doing some gardening will help to you to cope better and reduce your risk of other stress related illnesses.
• It gives you the opportunity to get outside in the fresh air and daylight thus helping your body to absorb Vitamin D. This vitamin is vital to our health because a lack of vitamin D is associated with a higher risk of sleep disturbances, poorer sleep quality and reduced sleep duration. Sleep problems in turn impact upon a person’s ability to cope with stress and can result in low mood and increased anxiety.
• It releases mind-boosting brain chemicals which help to lift mood.
• It’s fun, it’s creative and you can get a great feeling of satisfaction in admiring the fruits of your labours as you sit out and relax in the sunshine.

Exercise
Exercise is a great way to manage stress and look after your mental health. The wonderful thing about exercise is that it releases chemicals within the brain that help you to feel positive, uplifted and motivated. These chemicals (neurotransmitters) include endorphins, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin.
These brain chemicals play an important part in regulating your mood. Exercise has numerous benefits for your physical and mental health. Here are just a few of them:

• It is a great way to reduce anxiety, depression or low mood.
• It can help you to feel better about yourself and boost your self-esteem.
• It can improve your brain function and mental alertness.
• It can help you to sleep better.
• It can provide an opportunity to get out of the house and connect with other people.
• It can lead to increased motivation and a sense of well-being.
• It helps to maintain physical health including a healthy immune system, which is vital currently.
• There is scientific evidence that that team sports, cycling, aerobics and going to the gym are associated with the biggest reductions in the number of days that people experience poor mental health.

I always suggest participating in some form of exercise - it should be something that you enjoy, although it can be fun to try different activities, if you don’t know where to start. Obviously, options are limited for the time being, but we can still find ways in which to exercise. For instance, there are online Zumba and Yoga classes. Walking, running and cycling can be done relatively easily during lockdown. (Always seek medical advice if you have not exercised before or if you feel unwell).

Practise patience
As we enter the eighth week of lockdown some people may be feeling impatient and frustrated about the current situation, wanting to get back to their normal way of life. This is perfectly understandable and normal. However, our lives remain on hold to a large extent, so dwelling on those feelings is only going to make them expand in our minds. This will not help us to    cope effectively. In fact, it will make us feel more stressed.

If you’re feeling like this, then see if you can try to turn things around by focusing instead on what is working for you. They say, “Patience is a virtue.” Perhaps it is, but it’s also a life skill, in my opinion; something that we can learn, that we can cultivate within ourselves through consistent practice. I find mindfulness meditation and gardening helps me to practise patience. I wonder if you could find something that could help you? It could be a form of exercise, a meditative practice, a hobby or interest, an activity such as angling or bird watching – anything that enables you to connect with a sense of stillness and inner calm. Remember, nothing lasts forever, and this too shall pass.

Finally, If you are finding it difficult to cope do please get in touch with me. I am offering hypnotherapy and talking therapy online via Zoom. These online sessions can be just as effective as face to face sessions and I provide easy instructions to get you started with Zoom (which is free to use).
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Tel. 07856 201869
​Email: td@tracydanielstherapies.co.uk