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How to help your child cope with exam stress

1/5/2025

 
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This is exam season, a stressful time for both teenagers and their parents. If you are a parent or a caregiver you may be wondering what can I do to help my young person cope with exam stress?

There are a number of things that you can do but first of all it can be helpful to recognise that we are all different and unique. Some young people may seem able to handle exam pressure quite well,  yet they may be masking their emotions whilst feeling stressed and anxious whereas others may be having emotional meltdowns and letting everyone know just how they are feeling. Either way, most young people who want to do well in their exams are likely to be feeling some degree of stress and anxiety at this time and that is perfectly natural. In this blogpost I am covering some exam stress tips for parents and caregivers to help you and your young person get through the exam season.

Communicate

Talking to your young person and allowing them to express their feelings, if possible, can be helpful. Bottling things up inside can lead to lead to more problems, so letting your child know that you are there for them with love and support can go a long way. If they are occasionally moody or bad tempered, remember this is a tough time for them, so just let it go.

Have a plan

It is highly likely that your young person’s school has given them a framework for planning and creating their own revision timetable. You could ask your young person about this, not to check up on them, but to see if it is working for them and if they need any help to organise and structure their time around revision. When looking at their exam timetable or schedule ensure that downtime is included too.

No pressure

A revision timetable can be helpful but avoid pressurising your child to do more than they can cope with on any given day. So often, children will absorb the expectations of the adults who are important to them and internalise these. This is especially true of conscientious children who want to do well and please others, but too much pressure will increase exam anxiety. This in turn will make it more difficult for a young person to focus and concentrate on their studies.

Positive rewards

We all need to be rewarded for hard work and for doing our personal best. This encourages us to keep going and gives us an emotional lift so small and regular rewards during the exam season can be motivating.

Self-care

Ensure that your young person is taking care of themselves by eating healthy regular meals, avoiding junk food, which is not good for their hard-working brain, taking regular breaks, having some fresh air and most importantly, getting enough sleep.

Balance

The exam season can feel overwhelming for some children. It is essential that a young person maintains a balanced life. It must not be about revision all the time. Down time is necessary for young people to relax and refresh their mind so that they do not burn out. A day off at the weekend can help your young person to recognise that there is more to life than exams by connecting with friends and family, their hobbies or interests and enjoying life.

What if they are not coping?

Emotional meltdowns, procrastination, tearfulness, mood swings, insomnia, changes in appetite, social withdrawal, staying in their bedroom all the time – these are some signs that a young person is experiencing moderate to severe stress and anxiety. If you are concerned about your child’s mental health then you may want to talk to your GP or seek help from a qualified professional.

Hypnotherapy for exam stress can help

Hypnotherapy is a form of talking therapy that can be particularly helpful for young people who are suffering from exam nerves, exam stress, and anxiety. I help my young clients to calm their mind, enter a state of relaxation and reduce any feelings of stress and anxiety so that they can focus upon their revision and their exam performance, in a positive way.
 
As a solution focused hypnotherapist and former tutor and lecturer, I help children and young people with a range of problems. I am registered with the National Council for Hypnotherapy, the Complementary Natural and Healthcare Council, and I have an Enhanced DBS Certificate.
 
© Tracy Daniels 

Demystifying hypnotherapy

17/10/2024

 
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I felt the need to write this blog post after two people expressed common misconceptions about hypnotherapy over the past week.

The first person asked me, “How long do you put people under for?” I replied, “I don’t put people under.”  That is a common misunderstanding about hypnotherapy which is nothing like stage hypnosis neither is it like receiving a general anaesthetic. There is no “going under.” In fact, I use hypnosis to guide a person into trance which is a state of focused awareness and deep relaxation. In this hypnotic state a person’s subconscious mind is more likely to be receptive to the suggestions that I make which are based on a client’s personal goals or desired outcome. I do not put a person to sleep although if a person is feeling tired and deeply relaxed then they may drift into a gentle sleep, in which case I would notice this and bring them back into wakefulness.


Hypnotherapy is not mind control

The second person said, “I need you to change my mindset because I can’t do it myself.” Can this be done? Well, yes and no. To be clear, hypnotherapy is a talking therapy that requires a collaborative relationship between the client and the therapist. You may want me to change your mindset but I cannot control your mind. Hypnotherapy is not mind control. Certainly not by the hypnotherapist, but most certainly by you, for yourself. I would be wary of anyone who says they can control your mind. Even if they could, would you really want them to? Really, all hypnosis is self-hypnosis, because you must consent to changing your mind and/or your behaviour at some level, both consciously and subconsciously. No therapist can do that for you.

Throughout trance the client is in control. They will be aware of everything being said whilst in a calm and relaxed state. In this state, with their consent, I can enable them to form new beliefs about themself and their capabilities, effectively helping them to “rewire” their brain. Hypnotherapy can be enormously empowering and life changing.

I am professionally trained in solution focused hypnotherapy and the solution focused approach is based upon the idea that the client is the expert in their own life. Indeed you are the expert in your own life. You know yourself better than anyone else. I cannot be an expert about your life because I do not walk in your shoes. I do not inhabit your inner world.

Solution focused hypnotherapy is a wonderfully effective form of psychotherapy that can be used for a wide range of problems but it does not work for everyone. A lot depends upon the individual client, their personal circumstances, the level of rapport established between them and the therapist, their openness to receiving therapy or whether there is some degree of internal resistance to therapy and change. I cannot promise a cure for your woes. I do not have a magic wand, so I cannot make your problems vanish but I can educate, support and enable you to make positive changes for yourself.


Therapy is a process

Therapy is a process and the length of time needed for each client can vary enormously. I have had some clients who have experienced transformational change in just one or two sessions whereas other clients have needed many more sessions and seen me over a period of several weeks or months. Often it depends on how serious and deep rooted the problem has become. Let’s face it, if a problem has persisted for many months or even years, it is unlikely to be resolved in a matter of just a few sessions.

For instance, a young woman with a long-term anxiety problem about her appearance and related feelings of lack of self-confidence is not likely to lose those feelings and stop worrying about how she looks after just a couple of sessions. This is because her negative thoughts and feelings have become  “hard-wired” in her brain. This notion of the brain becoming hard-wired is based upon neuroscience which is the study of how the brain works. Within this woman’s brain a strong neural connection has formed so breaking down this pathway and replacing it with a new one that involves not persistently worrying about her appearance and feeling okay about herself is going to take time.


When the magic happens

Nevertheless, positive shifts may begin to happen after just a short period of time. A person may find a renewed sense of hope and optimism, a change in their outlook and over the course of a few sessions a noticeable change in their mindset, thoughts, habits and behaviour. I generally observe steady, incremental changes in most of my clients as well as increased self-confidence, participation in more activities that lift their mood and a regained sense of “feeling more like my old self,” which is a term many clients use. Now that is magical ! It’s truly a “sparkling moment” when a client reports positive change and a sense of being in control of their life.

If you’re considering hypnotherapy and you don’t want a “snake-oil salesman” approach but a professional, ethical and integrated therapeutic approach that can potentially lead to sustainable change and enable you to write a new chapter in your life, then feel free to get in touch in with me.

© Tracy Daniels 




Do I have anxiety?

14/8/2024

 
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You may be suffering from a range of unpleasant thoughts and symptoms, you may feel like you are worrying all the time or feeling on edge, but do you have anxiety? The only way to answer this question is to understand what anxiety is and explore if this is what you are experiencing.

Anxiety is a common mental health problem that is often misunderstood, so what is it exactly and why do so many of us experience it at some point in our lives?
Everyone’s mental health on a continuum. Within this continuum most people will experience anxiety to varying degrees. Anxiety is a common emotion and part of being human.

According to NHS Choices, “Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe.”

Fundamentally, it is an emotional state that involves a range of unpleasant symptoms often characterised by a general feeling of unease, feeling nervous, worrying excessively, avoiding challenging situations, overthinking as well as a wide variety of physical symptoms and sensations such as feeling nauseous, insomnia, appetite change, nervous habits, and sleep disturbances. Many people experience mild or moderate anxiety symptoms, especially in a stressful situation, for example before an important job interview, or before sitting an exam. However, some people may experience more severe or chronic symptoms including panic attacks or intense anxiety that is so debilitating that it interferes with their ability to do routine daily tasks and activities. There are a wide range of anxiety disorders varying from common disorders which can usually be diagnosed by a GP to severe or complex disorders that require diagnosis by a suitably qualified medical professional, usually a psychiatrist.
​

Why do I feel anxious?

Usually, people feel anxious when they feel afraid, when something feels threatening in some way or when they are required to step out of their comfort zone and do something that feels challenging. These feelings are entirely normal and natural. This is because of the way in which our brains function. All humans and animals experience this response when feeling threatened, in danger, or at risk in some way.

When your brain perceives something as threatening, a primitive part of the brain known as the limbic system, which is our “survival centre” swings into action to protect us from danger. The limbic system functions on auto pilot and it produces a powerful instant reaction which triggers what is known as the fight, flight, fawn, flop, or freeze response. This response is triggered by various parts of the limbic system, namely the amygdala, which in turn activates the hypothalamus to release powerful brain chemicals known as neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters include the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol.

Imagine that you are a cave dweller in early neolithic times, busy hunting and gathering when you spot a large tiger that is stalking you. In a split second, your limbic system would be activated, and you would respond accordingly. A sudden surge in adrenaline and cortisol would result in an increased heart rate, increased respiratory rate, sweating and more than likely a strong urge to run away! (A flight response).

This activation of the limbic system is essential for our survival when there is a significant threat, but what happens when the threat is less significant? In our modern everyday lives, most people rarely face significant threats or dangers. However, the limbic system can become activated by something that we perceive as threatening; a requirement to give a presentation at work, a journey that involves flying, an appointment at the dentist, and so on. Although we are not being chased by a tiger, the limbic system becomes activated because we feel afraid, threatened or at risk in some way. The release of stress hormones causes common symptoms of anxiety such as tension headaches, muscular tension, sleeplessness, and restlessness. This can also encompass fears and phobias, social anxiety, overthinking, procrastination, and many other problems. When the feelings and symptoms of anxiety persist, they can stop us from leading fulfilling lives.

What can I do about anxiety?

Well, the good news is that you’re not alone. Anxiety affects everyone to varying degrees of difficulty during their lives. When anxiety feels like it is getting out of control, then it is a good idea to seek professional help.
​
Some people who suffer from severe or complex anxiety may need to see their GP and be referred to a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist for specialist help. However, most people will experience mild to moderate anxiety and may benefit from any of the following options of their choice:


  • Hypnotherapy.
  • Mindfulness based meditation.
  • Cognitive behavioural therapy.
  • Medication may be prescribed by your GP.
  • A combination of any or all the above depending individual needs, responsiveness to the form of therapy and personal preference.

There are some useful things that you could do to help yourself to cope better with your anxiety and these include:

  • Self-care activities such as treating yourself to a nice meal or an evening out, having a spa day and so on.
  • Positive interaction with people who are supportive and uplifting.
  • Physical activity in the form of any kind of exercise that you find enjoyable.
  • Getting outdoors in the fresh air. For example, many people find a daily walk for about half an hour can help to ease their anxiety and lift their mood.
  • Taking up a hobby that enables you to mentally switch off.
  • ​Breathing and relaxation exercises.
  • Developing a daily meditation practice.  

I post tips and advice about how to manage anxiety on my Facebook and Instagram pages.

Will I always feel anxious?

It is unlikely that you will always feel anxious. Anxious feelings come and go but high anxiety is transient. Chronic or persistent anxiety can be managed. The limbic system is the reactive part of our brain that overrides our ability to think logically and rationally but the brain is like plastic. It is malleable which means that it can be changed. This is known as neuroplasticity.

Furthermore, there is another part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex. It is also known as “the executive mind.” This part of the brain is logical and helps us to reason and behave in a rational manner. With the right kind of therapy, a person can learn how to change their behaviour and patterns of thinking. These changes can help a person to feel less anxious, sometimes to the extent that the anxiety diminishes significantly.

Anxiety is an emotion that is essential for our survival, so we would not want to eliminate the ability to feel anxious. My goal is to enable my clients to understand and manage their anxious behaviour and thinking patterns, so that they can make positive changes and improve their situation. Learning how to manage mild to moderate anxiety is certainly achievable for most people.

Solution focused hypnotherapy is the type of hypnotherapy that I practise. It is informed by neuroscience and based upon solution focused brief therapy which is an evidence based therapeutic practice. I am also a mindfulness teacher and an anxiety specialist with nine years’ experience in helping people with a wide range of anxiety related problems.

If you would like to find out more about how I could help you then go to: Hypnotherapy for Anxiety.
 
© Tracy Daniels 


How to improve your sleep - World Sleep Day 2024

15/3/2024

 
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Tossing and turning in bed unable to fall asleep is my personal idea of hell. Years of poor sleep brought me to the point at which I knew I had to do something about it. Over time I experimented with different options, got to know myself and my body’s rhythms better and chose to work with the problem rather than against it. I’m not saying that what works for me will work for anyone else, but it just might help and if you’re suffering from insomnia then you’ll probably try anything.

Unfortunately, regular good quality sleep evades many people. In fact, as many as one in three people in the UK suffer from poor sleep, so this is a common problem. Lack of sleep is often associated with poor mental health, impaired mental functioning and memory consolidation as well as having adverse effects upon various physiological processes.

Whilst deep sleep is essential for our health, it is during light sleep, the rapid eye movement stage (REM sleep), when we are dreaming, that our brain can turn emotional events into a narrative (a story). This helps us to process difficult events or emotions and wake up feeling refreshed and restored. However, if our sleep is poor, disturbed or a person is suffering from insomnia then this interferes with the brain’s ability to deal with stress, regulate our emotions and function well in the world. There is some research that indicates that deep relaxation during hypnosis replicates the beneficial effects of REM sleep. This helps to reduce stress, calm, and refresh the mind. Often my clients find that hypnosis leaves them feeling deeply relaxed and positive.

There are many factors that can have an adverse effect upon our sleep. Stress, worries, anxiety and overthinking are the common problems that clients experience when they discuss their sleep difficulties. Unfortunately, it is only too easy to become stuck in a vicious cycle which only makes matters worse. For example, if we are feeling stressed, lack of sleep will only lead to us feeling more easily stressed, becoming less emotionally resilient and that in turn will exacerbate the sleep problem. To get out of this vicious cycle we need to reduce the activity of what is known as the sympathetic nervous system which prepares the body for dealing with a threat, real or perceived, and activate the body’s parasympathetic nervous system to enable rest and digestion to occur.
 
The following are some Do’s and “Don’ts” that may be helpful:

Help with sleepless nights

For a good night's sleep:

  • Try going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning.
  • Ensure that you are physically tired. If you engage in regular physical work or exercise, you are more likely to sleep better.
  • If possible, try to get outside in the morning because sunlight can help to reset your internal “sleep clock” so that you feel naturally sleepy in the evening. It doesn’t have to be a sunny morning for this to be effective.
  • Try to reduce the lighting in your home in the evening. Artificial light interferes with the brain’s production of melatonin, the sleep hormone, and this will make it more difficult for us to fall asleep.
  • Keep a notebook or sticky notes on your bedside table so that you can clear your mind of any mental clutter that is keeping you awake. Personally, every evening I write a “To Do” list for the next day and if something pops into my mind at bedtime, I write it down on a sticky note.
  • There is some research that indicates that having a warm bath before bedtime can improve sleep.
  • Ensure that your bedroom is slightly cool and well ventilated. It’s difficult to sleep well in a stuffy room.
  • Make sure that your bed and bedding is clean and comfortable. Breathable cotton bedding can be helpful if you tend to overheat in bed.
  • Try not to worry if you wake up briefly in the middle of the night. It’s quite normal and you will probably fall back to sleep again.
  • Try to make some time every evening to wind down before bed, at least an hour beforehand. You could try a calming activity such as reading a novel, listening to some gentle music, doing a restorative yoga flow or a meditation.
  • Listening to a calming hypnotherapy or mindfulness recording will help you to destress and wind down for sleep.
 
 To induce a good sleep, do not:

  • Don’t engage in mentally or physically stimulating activities shortly before bedtime. Cardiovascular exercise is overstimulating so try something like yoga or Tai Chi instead.
  • Don’t eat a heavy meal less than three hours before bedtime and avoid alcohol, tea, and coffee.
  • It is thought that the blue light that emits from electronic devices can affect the brain so avoid looking at a screen at least an hour before bedtime. However, if you do want to watch television make sure that it is something relaxing such as a nature programme rather than an action movie.
  • Get into an argument or a heated discussion with anyone late in the evening. If you have something difficult to discuss leave it until the daytime.
  • Consume caffeine rich foods or drinks such as coffee, tea, and dark chocolate after 3.00pm, if you have difficulty getting off to sleep.
  • Don’t lie in bed fretting about not being able to sleep. If you haven’t succeeded in falling asleep after about 30 minutes, then get up and try doing something calming and relaxing.
 
Finally, be aware that many people experience sleep problems at some point in their lives. Medical problems and some medicines can affect a person’s sleep as well as a range of emotional factors.

It can be helpful to experiment with different solutions to sleep problems to find what works for you. Hypnotherapy and mindfulness are well established complementary therapies that help people with sleep problems. Both therapies may enable a person to reach a state of inner calm and reduce the symptoms of stress, worry and anxiety. As a qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Mindfulness teacher, I teach my clients how to use a range of techniques for improved sleep and well-being.

None of the information in this article replaces medical advice. If you have a persistent sleep problem or are suffering from severe insomnia, then seek medical advice from your G.P.

© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2024 | All Rights Reserved


How can we make effective New Year's Resolutions?

3/1/2024

 
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Why do we fail with our New Year's Resolutions and what can we do about it?

Christmas is over and many of us find ourselves reflecting on the year gone by and making new resolutions for the year ahead. However, so many of us will resolve to change something, perhaps to give up a bad habit or start a good new habit only to find that after a few weeks we haven’t managed to keep it going.

Let’s be honest here, we need to recognise that personal change is not easy for most people and of course it requires motivation, commitment, and perseverance. Our brains are wired for gratification and if that gratification is delayed our motivation can fall away.

Personally, I prefer to think in terms of goals for the year ahead rather than resolutions. Resolutions are quite vague whereas goals can be specific and broken down into achievable steps.

Nevertheless, at some point you will have contemplated and identified your New Year's resolution and decided that you are ready to change your behaviour with some awareness of the barriers that make that difficult. You may have prepared yourself and will have started to successfully implement your plan for achieving your resolution, only to find that after a good start your motivation begins to wane, and you fall back into old patterns of behaviour. So, what can you do about this?

Realistic, achievable goals

Laying a solid foundation for change in ourselves is essential. Initially it is important to be realistic about what we would like to achieve. For instance, nobody manages to run a marathon without putting in lots of hard work to build up their stamina and fitness over a period of months beforehand. Ask yourself, “Is my goal realistic and can I achieve it.” Also, consider if the timescale within which you would like to achieve your goal is manageable with all the other time commitments you may have in your life.

Prepare an action plan

Your action plan doesn’t need to be anything elaborate. In fact, the simpler and easier it is the better. You may wish to write it down because when  we commit our thoughts to paper, we reinforce our goals both mentally and visually. You may want to create a pinboard of statements or images that you find motivating to help you keep on track. Whether this is done as a digital or non-digital exercise doesn’t really matter, the important thing is that you review it regularly.

Be clear about any barriers to change

Being clear about any barriers to change is not easy but a skilled therapist could help you to identify those barriers and the action steps that you could realistically take to overcome them.

Also, it worthwhile to remind yourself of any risks associated with your current behaviour and the rationale for change.

You may find it helpful to tell other people who you know would be supportive about your goal. They will encourage you if your motivation is waning.

Reward yourself appropriately

Once you have a good foundation in place it is time to put your plan into action. At this stage it is useful to think about how you may reward yourself as you begin to reach your goal. For example, if you have managed to lose a kilogram in weight, how are you going to reward yourself for that achievement? It wouldn’t be a good idea to treat yourself with food, but you could treat yourself to a healthy activity.

Consider putting some strategies into place for occasions when you might feel tempted. If you are trying to lose weight and you are going out for dinner, you could look at the menu online in advance and decide what would be the healthiest option beforehand, thereby minimising the risk of a spur of the moment decision to make a less healthy choice.

Don’t give up!

Do you know that it is normal to fail in achieving our goals? Success often requires several attempts. Most people will relapse into well-established patterns of behaviour because our brains are “hard wired” in that way. If we want to change, we need to develop and reinforce the desired behaviour repetitively. Unfortunately, many people become so disappointed and frustrated with themselves that they just “throw in the towel.” Don’t give up! This can be a learning opportunity; a time to review your progress so far, evaluate what worked for you, where you went wrong and consider if anything needs adjusting. Was there something that triggered your relapse? What could you do differently next time? Take some time to remind yourself of the steps taken in the planning stage and see if any improvements could be made. What steps could be taken to avoid a relapse in the future?

If planning and reviewing progress is something that you find difficult then I can help you with that process. As a former SEN lecturer, I am adept at action planning and breaking goals down into smaller, achievable targets. Solution Focused Hypnotherapy is a modality that I use to help people rewire their brains and make positive changes in their lives.

Finally, please be kind to yourself. A little self-compassion can go a long way. Keep going. Every time you fall back, pick yourself up again with your goal clearly in sight.

A Chinese proverb that I use to motivate myself is, “The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”


© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2024 |  All Rights Reserved

Words have power - choose one word for 2022

31/12/2021

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​Words have power, there’s no doubt about that. As a hypnotherapist and as an English teacher, I know about the transformative power of language. The words we use about ourselves are the most important of all. Each year, many people decide upon a New Year’s resolution which often begins with the words, “This year I will…”

It is thought that the tradition of making New Year's resolutions originated with the Babylonians, who made promises to the gods in hope that they would earn their goodwill during the coming year. Centuries later the tradition has and endured. Making a New Year’s resolution is a way to set a goal and to begin the year with a positive intention. Unfortunately, good intentions often fall by the wayside, and we are left with a feeling of failure, having not managed to successfully accomplish or achieve what we set out to do. In fact, most people will have given up on their New Year’s resolutions by the beginning of February.

Action or description

Instead, it may be helpful to adopt the idea of thinking of one word, possibly an “action word” or a “doing word” as a theme or positive intention for the months ahead; something that has meaning for you personally and can be reviewed as the year progresses. On the other hand, you may wish to think about a descriptive word to describe a feeling or a quality that you would like to develop within yourself. For example, if you would like to lose weight then I would suggest instead of using the word “diet” with all the negative connotations that entails, perhaps choose the word “challenge,” and set yourself the challenge to consume healthier foods in place of unhealthy foods. If you are the type of person who is easily upset or who tends to feel worried or anxious, then your word for the year may be “calm.”

Reframe “failure”

Yes, you may start the year off well but drift back into old habits or behaviours. When that happens, don’t beat yourself up about it! You’re only human and it’s okay to slip up sometimes. Let’s re-frame the thinking that is applied to a notion of failure: Instead of saying to yourself, “This is hopeless. I will never achieve my goal,” try to think something like, “Okay, so I slipped up yesterday but today is a new day and another opportunity to get things right.” Imagine that you’re pressing a reset button in your mind.

Helpful tips

Often people are unable to achieve their goals because they have not fully prepared themselves at the initial stage. Laying a solid foundation for change in ourselves is essential. This could involve the following activities:
  • Commit your thoughts to paper because by doing this you will reinforce your intention both mentally and visually. I suggest writing out your goal and placing it somewhere where you know you will see it at least daily. You could upload it on the lock screen of your mobile phone, or you could find an image that captures what your word means to you.
  • Be clear about the barriers to change and what steps you could realistically take to overcome those barriers. For example, if eating too many biscuits is a problem and you know you simply can’t resist them then choose not to buy them anymore.
  • Remind yourself of any risks associated with your current behaviour and the rationale for change.
  • Prepare an action plan. It doesn’t need to be anything elaborate. In fact, the simpler and easier it is the better. Can your goal be broken down into small manageable steps?
  • You could make a Pinboard of statements or images that you find motivating to help you keep on track.
  • Tell other people who you know would be supportive. They will encourage you or you may find a local support group or therapist helpful.

Only you know what it is that you would like to change. Perhaps you would like to achieve a better home, work, life balance? Perhaps losing weight or giving up smoking is your goal? Maybe you want to overcome a specific fear or phobia? Perhaps you wish to be able to deal with other people’s behaviour better?

If setting goals, planning, and reviewing progress is something that you find difficult then I can help you with that process. As a former SEN lecturer, I am adept at action planning and breaking goals down into smaller, achievable targets. Solution focused hypnotherapy and mindfulness are other modalities that I use to help people rewire their brains and make desirable changes in their lives.

​Word ideas to get you started for 2022:

Appreciate
Balance
Commit
Dare
Empower
Fun
Grateful
Grow
And so on…

Give it go - see how you get on.

I have chosen my word for 2022 and it is “create.” Will you choose your word?
 
© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2021 |  All Rights Reserved

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How to improve your sleep

30/6/2021

 
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If we are feeling stressed, lack of sleep will only lead to us feeling more easily stressed, becoming less emotionally resilient and that in turn will exacerbate the sleep problem. 

Tossing and turning in bed unable to fall asleep is my personal idea of hell. I used to do that, but not anymore! Years of poor sleep brought me to the point at which I knew I had to do something about it. So, what did I do, you may ask? Well, I simply gave up being worried about it and remarkably my sleep has improved.

That doesn’t mean that I did nothing about the problem though. I did experiment over time with different options, got to know myself and my body’s rhythms better and chose to work with the problem rather than against it. I’m not saying that what works for me will work for anyone else, but it just might help and if you’re suffering from insomnia then you’ll probably try anything.

Any medical student will be aware that good quality sleep is one of the pillars of health. Sadly, regular good quality sleep evades many people. In fact, as many as one in three people in the UK suffer from poor sleep, so this is a common problem. Lack of sleep is often associated with poor mental health, impaired mental functioning and memory consolidation as well as having adverse effects upon various physiological processes, so it is essential to try to get enough sleep.

There are many factors that can have an adverse effect on our sleep. Stress, worries, anxiety and overthinking are the common problems that clients experience when they discuss their sleep difficulties. Unfortunately, it is only too easy to become stuck in a vicious cycle whereby these factors feed into the sleep problem and the sleep problem feeds back negatively, making matters worse.

If we are feeling stressed, lack of sleep will only lead to us feeling more easily stressed, becoming less emotionally resilient and that in turn will exacerbate the sleep problem. To get out of this vicious cycle we need to reduce the activity of what is known as the sympathetic nervous system which prepares the body for dealing with a threat, real or perceived, and activate the body’s parasympathetic nervous system to enable rest and digestion to occur. 
​
Help with sleepless nights

The following are some Dos and Don’ts that may be helpful as well as some of my personal solutions.

For a good night's sleep:
  • Try going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning.
  • Ensure that you are physically tired. If you engage in regular physical work or exercise, you are more likely to sleep better.
  • Try to reduce the lighting in your home in the evening. Artificial light interferes with the brain’s production of melatonin, the sleep hormone, and this will make it more difficult for us to fall asleep.
  • Keep a notebook or sticky notes on your bedside table so that you can clear your mind of any mental clutter that is keeping you awake. Personally, every evening I write a to-do list for the next day and if something pops into my mind at bedtime, I write it down on a sticky note.
  • There is some research that indicates that having a warm bath before bedtime can improve sleep. 
  • Ensure that your bedroom is slightly cool and well ventilated. It’s difficult to sleep well in a stuffy room.
  • Make sure that your bed and bedding is clean and comfortable. Breathable cotton bedding can be helpful if you tend to overheat in bed. 
  • Try not to worry if you wake up briefly in the middle of the night. It’s quite normal and you will probably fall back to sleep again.
  • Try to take some time every evening to wind down before bed, at least an hour beforehand. You could try a calming activity such as reading a novel, listening to some gentle music, doing a restorative yoga flow or a meditation.
  • Listening to a calming hypnotherapy or mindfulness recording will help you to destress and wind down for sleep.

To induce a good sleep, do not:
  • Don’t engage in mentally or physically stimulating activities shortly before bedtime. Cardiovascular exercise is overstimulating so try something like yoga or Tai Chi instead.
  • Don’t eat a rich or heavy meal less than three hours before bedtime and avoid alcohol, tea, and coffee.
  • It is thought that the blue light that emits from electronic devices can affect the brain so avoid looking at a screen at least an hour before bedtime. However, if you do want to watch television make sure that it is something relaxing such as a nature programme rather than an action movie.
  • Get into an argument or a heated discussion with anyone late in the evening. If you have something difficult to discuss leave it until the daytime.
  • Consume caffeine-rich foods or drinks such as coffee, tea, and dark chocolate after 3.00 pm, if you have difficulty getting off to sleep.
  • Don’t lie in bed fretting about not being able to sleep. If you haven’t succeeded in falling asleep after about 30 minutes, then get up and try doing something calming and relaxing.

What I find helpful
​
  • I don't worry about not being able to fall asleep. I accept that sometimes I may have a 'bad night' and I just go with the flow. However, if my mind is racing, I ask myself 'Why?' Is there something that is bothering me emotionally and what can I do about it?
  • If I am finding it difficult to relax, I will listen to a hypnotherapy recording or I will engage in mindfulness meditation. One of these usually works for me.
  • If my mind is busy for no apparent reason, it could be a positive thing. Perhaps I might use my wakefulness to do something useful, providing it is not too stimulating, until tiredness takes over and I can more easily fall asleep.
  • I might do some self-healing in the form of Reiki which helps me to calm my mind and body.
  •  Regularly doing a restorative yoga flow in the evening has trained my brain and my body that it is now time to unwind mentally and physically.

​Finally, be aware that many people experience sleep problems at some point in their lives. Medical problems and some medicines can affect a person’s sleep as well as a range of emotional factors.

It can be helpful to experiment with different solutions to sleep problems to find what works for you. Hypnotherapy and mindfulness are well established complementary therapies that help people with sleep problems. Both therapies may enable a person to reach a state of inner calm and reduce the symptoms of stress, worry and anxiety. As a qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Mindfulness teacher, I teach my clients how to use a range of techniques for improved sleep and well-being.

None of the information in this article replaces medical advice. If you have a persistent sleep problem or are suffering from severe insomnia, then seek medical advice from your G.P.


© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2021 | All Rights Reserved

This article was first published in The Hypnotherapy Directory on 18 March 2021:

https://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/how-to-improve-your-sleep​

​


What causes us to feel stressed and how can we cope?

16/3/2021

 
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Our experience of stress arises from a physiological response within the brain and the rest of the body to feeling threatened, either physically, emotionally, or mentally. Within the brain there is a structure known scientifically as the limbic system and known commonly as the primitive emotional mind. This is responsible for producing the fight, flight or freeze response when we sense that we are in danger. The function of this part of our brain is to ensure our survival. It will respond immediately and automatically to a threat because it does not have the capacity to engage in logical, rational thinking or problem solving.
 
Our ancient ancestors evolved to survive

Imagine our ancient ancestors, the cavemen and cavewomen, who were hunter gatherers. They would have been faced with danger on a regular basis in their everyday lives. If a wild animal such as a tiger was approaching, a caveman would not have time to stop and weigh up the pros and cons of all the different options available. Should he stop and freeze on the spot pretending to be dead, should he use weapons to fight the tiger or should he just run? In an instant the limbic system would take over and the caveman would act immediately. More than likely he would attempt to run away because his brain would produce a massive surge of adrenaline which would give him a kind of superpower, namely the ability to run faster than he has ever run before! Adrenaline, cortisol, and other powerful hormones would flood through his body and this is what provides these almost superhuman abilities.
​
However, it is not so good when these hormones are flooding through our body when we are not in immediate danger. Yet, when we are feeling stressed and anxious this is exactly what happens. Our body will produce the stress chemicals, cortisol, and adrenaline. Too much adrenaline can cause panic attacks and too much cortisol will only add fuel to any feelings of stress or anxiety. This can happen in situations of either acute stress or chronic stress. Acute stress is experienced when there is a single event or trigger, and it is relatively short term. For example, a car accident with no long-term consequences. Chronic stress is experienced when there is either a single event with long term consequences or a series of events over a prolonged period. For example, a car accident resulting in life changing injuries leading to other events such as loss of employment and financial difficulties.
 
How stress accumulates in our daily lives

In the present era, stress accumulates throughout our daily lives and we need to be able to deal with it otherwise it can build up insidiously and before we know where we are, we can find ourselves experiencing problems with our physical and mental health.
 
To explain this, I shall use the analogy of a “stress bucket. Let’s use Kate as an example. Throughout the day Kate has an invisible bucket by her side. In the morning she awakens feeling fine. It’s a beautiful day, she gets up, has her breakfast, gets ready for work, and begins to make her journey by car to the office. Unfortunately, she hits a queue of very slow-moving traffic which is unusual on her route. This makes her feel anxious because she has an appointment with a client at 9.00am and she is worried about being late. Kate starts to feel a tightness in her chest and a knot in her stomach. These are symptoms of stress and anxiety. Eventually she arrives at the office 15 minutes late for the appointment and feeling flustered. One large item has gone into Kate’s stress bucket. She apologises to the client who is understanding and the rest of the morning proceeds uneventfully. During the lunch hour Kate walks to the sandwich shop, buys her lunch and is strolling back to the office whilst looking at the messages on her mobile phone, when she suddenly realises that she has stepped in some dog muck on the pavement. Kate is upset about this because she is wearing a new pair of suede shoes and now, they are ruined! Another item has gone into her stress bucket. The afternoon goes well despite everything and Kate returns home from work. In the evening as she is preparing dinner, she looks in the cupboard for her favourite steak seasoning and finds that the jar is empty. A small item has been added to Kate’s stress bucket. Over dinner, as Kate is chatting with her partner Tom, exchanging accounts of their day, he tells her that everyone in his firm received an email from Head Office informing them that a significant number of people would be made redundant in the next couple of months. Now a massive item has filled into Kate’s stress bucket. Kate is feeling upset, anxious, and worried. Later, she has a splitting headache and a bad night’s sleep.

Thankfully, life is not usually this stressful, but we all have bad days or go through difficult periods in our lives. We need to empty the stress bucket. If we do not empty it then our emotional resilience starts to suffer, and we can become very unwell.

How do we empty the stress bucket?

How do we empty the stress bucket when it starts to fill up? Sleep is nature’s way of ensuring that our body gets the rest and restoration that it needs so that we are physically and emotionally ready to deal with whatever challenges we are faced with in the day ahead. Deep sleep is essential, but it is during light sleep, the rapid eye movement stage (REM sleep), when we are dreaming, that our brain can turn emotional events into a narrative (a story) thus helping us to process those events and wake up feeling refreshed and restored. However, if our sleep is poor, disturbed or a person is suffering from insomnia then this interferes with the brain’s ability to empty the stress bucket, regulate our emotions and function well in the world.
Interestingly, there is some research that indicates that deep relaxation during hypnosis replicates the beneficial effects of REM sleep. This helps to reduce stress, calm, and refresh the mind. Often clients find that hypnosis leaves them feeling not only deeply relaxed but able to think more clearly.
 
 
How can we restrict the amount of stress that goes into the stress bucket?

If possible, try to take positive steps to reduce the amount that goes into your stress bucket. Perhaps you could organise your time more effectively? Could you go to bed earlier to get more sleep? Are there any activities that you could do that would help you cope with stress in your life? Some people find exercise helpful; others may enjoy playing chess, reading a book, cooking, or doing a creative activity and so on.
 
Responding instead of reacting

When faced with a difficult or stress inducing situation, you could try to respond rather than react. Unless you really do need to get away from immediate danger and a risk to life, taking a mindful moment to pause, think and rationalise could reduce your experience of stress.
 
Ask for help

Asking for help and getting someone else’s perspective can also be useful. When we are feeling stressed and anxious it is exceedingly difficult to think clearly and maintain a focused state of mind. Someone else’s opinion and insights could be invaluable. My role as a Clinical Solution Focused Hypnotherapist is to help people to find solutions to their problems through a combination of both solution focused brief therapy and hypnosis.
 
Positive reflection

Finally, using regular reflection on your daily experiences will help you to be able to control your emotional responses, so focus on the positive aspects of your day however small or seemingly insignificant. You may find listing two or three things at the end of each day in a diary, notebook or journal a helpful habit to get into. Problems shrink or expand depending on how we choose to think about them. Pay less attention to the problems and more attention to what is good in your life and you will find that your brain will work away in the background, when you are feeling calm and relaxed, to help you find the solutions that are right for you.

(Kate and Tom are fictional characters and not based on real people).

I help clients cope with stress and anxiety by using a range of techniques including solution focused hypnotherapy, mindfulness and talking therapy. If you would like to learn how to relax and cope better with whatever is causing stress in your life, then I am here to help you. Just get in touch.
​
 To find out more:
​
Text or ring: 07856 201869 or
Email: [email protected]
Message: facebook.com/TracyDanielsTherapies
Or click on the link: Contact

© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2021 | All Rights Reserved

This article was first published in The Hypnotherapy Directory on 15 February 2021:

https://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/what-causes-us-to-feel-stressed-and-how-can-we-cope​

Why you may be feeling worried about coming out of lockdown and how to cope

2/3/2021

 
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On Monday 22nd February, the Prime Minister outlined the roadmap for the easing of restrictions in stages over the coming months in the UK. Some of us may be happily looking forward to these changes without being unduly worried whilst others may be feeling quite worried or anxious.

Mixed emotions

It’s quite normal to have mixed emotions about the situation and we may find that within households, different members have different views and feelings about the roadmap ahead. There may also be different opinions across the generations, but it would be an oversimplification to assume that all elderly people are more anxious about the situation than younger people.
A key factor in people feeling worried about the easing of restrictions is the state of their personal health. Someone who is categorised as vulnerable or extremely vulnerable will understandably feel more concerned about forthcoming changes. Currently, parents and carers of children or adults who fall into these categories are also likely to have concerns or worries. Some parents may be feeling genuinely concerned about their children returning to school next week and wondering if the timing is right.

Uncertain times

It is no understatement to say that we are living in uncertain times. Whether we like it or not, Covid-19 has taught us to live with uncertainty and to accept that everything is not under our direct control. Of course, this is not easy. As human beings we do not like uncertainty or change. We generally much prefer things to stay the same, particularly our routines and daily habits. Yet over the past year our routines have been disrupted and our lifestyles have changed considerably. This past year is often described as a “corona coaster” of emotions, in and out of lockdown, good news, then bad news, then good news again. Change can be difficult to deal with, more so for some people less so for others. How you navigate change depends upon many factors including your level of emotional resilience.

Our survival system

Our brains are “wired” for survival and this is the reason that our species is so successful. Our limbic system which I often refer to as the “primitive emotional mind” is the part of the brain responsible for this function, however this part of our brain can lead us to becoming over-cautious or hyper vigilant. In my Facebook Live recording of 24th February, I talked about this and how everyone in the supermarket was avoiding being near a man whose face mask had slipped and wasn’t covering his nose.
If you’re the kind of person who is prone to anxiety your primitive emotional mind will be on red alert looking for danger, threats, and risks. You may be wondering about all the “What Ifs.” For instance, “What if I am doing all the right things but others are not!” You may be thinking, “Even though the situation is improving, the threat remains.”

Solutions and advice

So, what can you do about your concerns, worries or anxiety at this time? As a Solution Focused Therapist, I focus on solutions and not on the problem. I am not pretending that the problem is not there. Far from it, but I am choosing to place my mental attention and to direct the attention of my clients on the positive aspects of living. Perhaps you could experiment and try the following:

  • Don’t judge your feelings. Notice and observe how you feel but try not to attach to the feeling or dwell in it. Instead try to move forwards from any unhelpful thoughts or feelings.
 
  • Take things at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Don’t dive straight into things at the deep end if you don’t feel ready. Take things one day at a time until your confidence returns.
 
  • Doing things that you have not done for a while may feel strange but trust that you will get back into the flow of things e.g. If you’ve been working from home and you are required to go back into the workplace. If you feel very worried about this then, if possible, talk to your line manager or health and safety officer in the workplace.
 
  • Focus on what is going well and what has been positive about your day. You may wish to make a mental note of this or to write it down in your notebook, diary, or journal. Some people find it helpful to list two or three things at the end of each day in a gratitude journal.
 
  • Focus on what is within your realm of control and take comfort in knowing that you are doing your best.  
 
  • Try not to judge others who make mistakes or get things wrong because this will make you feel stressed and increase your anxiety. Remind yourself that most people are adhering to the law and the government guidelines.
 
  • Be aware that some of the things you worry about might never happen anyway. The primitive emotional mind is always focused on the worst-case scenario.
 
Practise “The Three Positives” 
  1. Positive action or activities that involve physical movement such as exercise, dance, cycling, gardening, playing golf and so on. 
  2. Positive interaction which means spending time in the company (including online) with people who make you feel good; having a laugh with family or friends, sharing thoughts and concerns with others who are supportive and uplifting. Try to avoid negative interaction as far as possible.
  3. Positive thought. Yes, absolutely the most difficult one if you’re feeling worried or anxious. It takes a lot of effort to think positively in the present circumstances yet there are many things to be positive about, especially the success in the vaccination programme. Try to avoid watching the news too often and try to focus your attention on positive news stories. Avoid “toxic” or negative people and situations.

Finally, the easing of lockdown restrictions is being done in stages which is good because it gives us all time to adjust. We really are “all in this together” and muddling through as best we can. You can only do your best to protect yourself and your loved ones. Learning to live with risks and danger is a part of life.

If you are finding it difficult to cope and you would like help to “rewire” your brain, reduce your anxiety and learn how to think more positively then don’t hesitate to get in touch and book a free 30-minute initial consultation, which can be done as a chat over the ‘phone or via Zoom. 

To find out more:

Text or ring: 07856 201869 or
Email: [email protected]
Message: facebook.com/TracyDanielsTherapies
Or click on the link: Contact
​

© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2021 | All Rights Reserved

Coping with Stress During Lockdown 2021 - Part One

26/1/2021

 
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Stress is simply a physiological response within the brain and the body to feeling threatened, either physically, emotionally, or mentally. The threat may be real or perceived. In our modern day lives, stress is usually experienced as a form of emotional or mental pressure and a feeling of being overwhelmed or not in control.
It can be said that stress is a part of everyone’s lives. In fact, we need a certain degree of stress to give us our get up and go. For instance, when we wake up in the morning our body will have already produced an increased amount of a stress hormone known as cortisol to help us get started with the day. However, when we feel overwhelmed by stress, we can lose our motivation and ability to enjoy life. Sadly, the relentless pace of life in the 21st century is a problem for many people. Covid-19 has caused additional stress disrupting our lives in so many ways. Short periods of stress are usually manageable, however chronic stress is a serious health risk that causes notable physical and psychological symptoms.

Learning how to cope better with stress and learning how to relax is a valuable life skill. We may get away with the effects of stress when we are young but as we grow older the effects of chronic stress can be devastating. 

The current situation with the coronavirus rate of infection rising in the UK and elsewhere is undoubtedly stressful and worrying. However, with so many negative reports in the media, it is important for anyone who is prone to anxiety and low mood, to limit their exposure to fear inducing negativity. Try watching or listening to the news just once a day at a specific time and leave it at that. News stories are predominantly negative so if you’re feeling low, that will only make you feel worse. Yes, we all need to be aware of the facts, but it does not help to dwell on the negative aspects too much. All this will do is feed anxiety and make us feel afraid.

Focusing on a problem, shining a metaphorical spotlight on it in the mind; focusing on what is wrong in the world, with the government, with our lives, with the situation regarding the coronavirus or whatever is challenging, will only make the problem expand to the point that a person can become obsessed with it, thinking about the problem constantly and going over and over it repeatedly. Inevitably, this will lead to anxiety.

A solution focused approach involves taking positive steps to reframe our thinking patterns and focus on the positive aspects of our lives. It also requires us to let go of the negative thoughts that increase our stress and make us feel worse and involves replacing those thoughts with an outlook that is helpful and balanced. I teach people how to do this when they work with me on a one-to-one basis. For the time being here are a few tips to help you cope with the current situation:
​
  • It can be helpful to remind ourselves that we’re all in it together. You are not alone in this situation and talking to others about it can help. However, be mindful about who you talk to because whilst it is okay to have a little moan sometimes, try not to get into the trap of negative thinking, constantly complaining or hanging out (virtually or otherwise) with others who will only bring you down and leave you feeling more stressed and anxious. Instead try to spend time with people whose company you enjoy and who are likely to leave you feeling uplifted.
  • Connect with nature – get outside into the fresh air. It may be walking through a park, hiking through the countryside, gardening, nature photography or any other of a range of activities. Simply being in green, open spaces is therapeutic for mind, body, and spirit. It helps to reduce cortisol levels, reduce stress, and lower blood pressure. Try to connect with nature by noticing the sights, sounds and smells in the natural environment. Try to immerse yourself in your activity, being fully present in the moment rather than thinking about the things that make you feel stressed, worried, or anxious. Deeply breathe in the fresh air and imagine any worries or concerns being lifted from your shoulders as you exhale fully. 
  • Being outdoors gives you the opportunity to get outside in the fresh air and daylight thus helping your body to absorb Vitamin D. This vitamin is vital to our health because a lack of vitamin D is associated with a higher risk of sleep disturbances, poorer sleep quality and reduced sleep duration. Sleep problems in turn impact upon a person’s ability to cope with stress and can result in low mood and increased anxiety.
  • Try to keep to a routine, even if you are not working or you have been furloughed. It is important to get the right amount of sleep at the right time. Sleeping during the day will disrupt your internal body clock and should be avoided unless you are a shift worker.
  • If you are feeling overwhelmed by work or by life in general, do one small task that you think is manageable to reduce your “To Do” list or workload so that at the end of the day you can have a feeling of satisfaction and achievement in knowing that there is one less thing that needs to be done. Is there someone who could help you with anything that you find difficult or overwhelming? Could it be broken down into smaller more manageable steps? Sometimes getting another’s person’s perspective can be useful. Perhaps talking to a Mental Health First Aider (if one is available) at your workplace would help.
  • Make self-care a priority and try to find time to do something each day that would make you feel better. In these circumstances the little things do matter. Don’t feel guilty about doing this because it is essential for your wellbeing. There is a popular saying, “You can’t give from an empty cup.” The amount of time that you can allocate to self-care may vary, but make sure that it is quality time without interruption, if possible, although that might be difficult for parents. Do what makes you feel good. It might be escaping into a good book or television series that will help you switch off mentally for a while, listening to some music that cheers you up, dancing or playing with the kids, connecting with a friend for a chat online or on the ‘phone, having a long soak in the bath, taking some form of exercise, or practising meditation.
  • Many of us are struggling with our emotions. We may feel worried, frightened, anxious, nervous, tearful, angry, frustrated, depressed. Whatever you are feeling currently, acknowledge those feelings because it’s okay to feel as you do. These feelings are real and worthy of your attention. Accept them these feelings. They are normal. This is a challenging and stressful situation. Connect with the people who matter to you, connect with your pets (if have any) and try to take things one day at a time. There is no point in dwelling on all the things you can’t do. Try to focus on what you can do and on those activities that would give you a feeling of satisfaction.

I help clients cope with stress and anxiety by using a range of techniques including solution focused hypnotherapy, mindfulness and talking therapy. If you would like to learn how to relax and cope better with whatever is causing stress in your life, then I am here to help you. Just get in touch.
​
To find out more:

Text or ring: 07856 201869 or
Email: [email protected]
Message: facebook.com/TracyDanielsTherapies
Or click on the link: Contact
​

© Copyright Tracy Daniels 2021 | All Rights Reserved

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    Tracy Daniels 

    Solution Focused Clinical Hypnotherapist, 
    Professional Mindfulness Practitioner & Psychotherapist

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