Helping children cope with lockdown

Many parents and children are feeling more anxious and our mood may have declined. We have been faced with a threat to our survival and we are unable to engage in many of the positive social activities that we enjoy. Not only are we affected as adults, but our children are affected too, perhaps more than we may realise.

Lockdown restrictions are being eased, but it could be quite some time before life returns to anything resembling normal and our children are able to return to school or play in groups with their friends. Briefly, here are a few tips that you could use to help children cope:

Keep talking to your child about the situation and provide them with the basic facts.

Try to find out what they are thinking. It is important to fill in any gaps in their understanding. Children can pick up information that is incorrect, misleading and fear inducing.

If your child is asking questions, then try to deal with them. Do not go into too much detail but try to allay any fears and provide realistic reassurance.

Be mindful of your own behaviour. We can underestimate our children’s understanding and sensitivity to our emotions. Children instinctively pick up on our feelings, noticing things such as our tone of voice, facial expressions and body language. They look to us to assess the extent to which a situation is safe or dangerous. A calm, rational adult who can maintain a reassuring manner is what children need. Sometimes we have to fake it!

Coping with children being off school for a prolonged period is not easy. What can you do?

• Try to create some structure to the day and as much as possible put a routine in place. Our brains like structure and routine. It helps us to feel safe and secure.
• It is important to maintain a balance between work and play both for yourself and for your children. Not only do children learn through play, it will help them to release any feelings of stress or anxiety that they are experiencing.
• Children are inventive, so it is likely that they will come up with suggestions for how they can maintain social contact with their friends. By taking the necessary and important steps to ensure your children are safe online, it is possible for them to stay in touch with each other.
• Share time engaging in practical life skills such as cooking, gardening, housework, budgeting and planning.
• Try to reframe this as an opportunity to connect with your children and spend quality time together. 

Finally, nothing lasts forever, and this too shall pass. Remind yourself and your children that eventually the situation will improve. Try to be optimistic.